I’m a working Mam with 2 children.
The ‘norm’ these days is you take a period of maternity (usually 9 months) and then you’re back to it.
Just as your child is starting to hit all those ‘big’ milestones. Crawling… Walking… Talking.
For me personally, I didn’t particularly want to go back to work but I ‘need’ to work to use my brain. To give me a purpose other than being Mam. So I can have a sense of self.
Only it’s not as simple as that.
If like us, you don’t have family support… any support… when it comes to childcare then you’ll know the pressure of being a working parent. Maybe you’ll still know it even if you have support with your childcare.
Not only does the cost of childcare so you can work weigh heavy on your bank balance but the juggle can weigh just as heavy.
You need childcare to work but your childcare bills takes most of your wage. If you’re child is sick they can’t go to childcare and you can’t go to work. There’s a pressure of appearing unreliable. For some people, you wont get paid.
How many jobs work round school hours? Extra childcare to cover breakfast or after school clubs cost more money. Breakfast/teatime sessions at nursery cost more money.
In our family, I’m responsible for the kids 95% of the time even when I’m working. I took the maternity, I work ‘part time’ round our childcare.
My husband’s self employed. My job’s flexible.
I took the paycut. And instead took on the responsibility and the pressure of being a working parent.
But this isn’t a dig at my husband, this is about what’s expected of parents.
We take maternity and then we’re back off out to work. Often our ‘babies’ are still waking in the night. Tired but still determined to prove ourselves.
Other people getting glimpses of our milestones, getting to share the best of our little ones.
The rush. Getting us ready for work- having to look presentable. The pressure of getting the kids to eat breakfast before we deposit them wherever they’re going. Gettting them dressed. Getting them dropped off on time so we can get to work on time. The pressure of not being late. Preying any little ones don’t get upset and drop off take longer than you’ve got time for.
Clocking off on time so we can collect the kids on time… and not be late.
Walking through the door from work, with the kids already in tow. You want to hear about their day but you also want to get out of your work clothes, get a brew.
Then you have to pick up the housework somewhere in between- put a wash on, get the tea on. Fit the food shop in.
If you’re not careful your days off can become catch up days rather than quality time with the kids. Because isn’t that why you work part time… so you get quality time with the kids?!
Having to cover school holidays. 6 weeks in the summer- I mean c’mon?!
More and more I’ve found myself resenting the pressure of being a working parent recently- and my job is flexible!
It’s virtually impossible to keep all the plates spinning without burning out.
And I can’t help but think is this really how it’s meant to be…
The Non Perfect Parent 