How many of you have husbands or partners who more often than not come home from work and put the kids to bed? Who change nappies? Who got or get up to do night feeds- occasionally or regularly, do the school run? Cook tea, cuddle the kids, bath them and wash their hair, settle them in the middle of the night? Plays games with them or make them dinner?
Lucky aren’t we!
My husband does all this whilst working full time too. Not just any old job but his own business. This means that it’s 6 days a week and if a jobs not done he stays late. There’s no set clocking in and out hours. No set holidays. No actual break even when you are off.
He doesn’t do all of these all the time but he still does them.
How many of you have heard: ‘Oh isn’t he a good Dad’ as he’s winding your screaming baby in the café’. Or ‘He’s great with the kids isn’t he’ as he’s running behind them on their new bikes’. Or even ‘Lucky you, Dad doing the night feed last night’.
I myself have told people what a good dad he is and how he’s done all this stuff. How the girls idolise him.
None of that’s a lie, he is a fantastic Dad and does do all that stuff AND the girls do idolise him- especially Bunny. He can’t even walk through the door without her getting excited. If he doesn’t go straight to her she screams the house down.
I can’t help feeling like I’m selling myself short. I do this stuff every. single. day. repeatedly. And more besides. So much more. Yet get nowhere near the same amount of credit that he does. I also find it very frustrating that despite him doing this he has a freedom that I don’t.
And before anyone makes THAT comment, this isn’t some kind of hate blog against my husband. I think it happens in most relationships- or this is certainly the norm for me and my friends anyway.
This blog isn’t about JUST my husband, but Dad’s in general.
Why do we put them on a pedestal?
Because there’s no doubt about it we do.
How many of your partners or husbands don’t do the majority of the stuff off their own back- they have to be asked?
Which is frustrating in itself. This means that I have to think for 4 people.
How many of your partners or husbands do the standard man thing of washing up and acting like he’s cleaned the whole house from top to bottom?
Or if they want to go somewhere after work, they just go? My husband finishes whatever time he wants- unless he has to be home to have the girls because I have a set time to be somewhere. When he wants to go for an appointment, his hair cut or a night out with the lads he just goes. A night out he always checks it’s okay first but that’s just so he doesn’t get hassle.
I on the other hand, do have to clean the whole house from top to bottom, and do the food shop and have any appointments all whilst working round the school run or school holidays and both kids. If I ever want to go anywhere I have to ask first because I need someone to be there for the girls. When I’m back at work next week, I wont be able to just nip here and there afterwards as I’ll have Bunny to pick up and then the school run. Clubs and groups to go to. I basically have to set my working hours round the kids.
How many of you hear but I’m at work or I work full time?
He’s the main earner. So you pick up everything else.
Who are the lucky ones now hey?
I’m not saying they don’t deserve it, because Dad’s are bloody amazing, but don’t sell yourself short! You’re bloody amazing too!
We need to stop giving Dad’s credit for the things Mums do day in, day out. The things mums exhaust themselves doing repeatedly. The things mums spend their time agonising about if they’re doing it right.
A dad could sit there and bottle feed his baby and no-one would bat an eyelid as to whether it was expressed milk or formula in that bottle YET mums are STILL facing prejudice if they don’t want to use their boobs to feed.
Changing rooms are still predominantly in women’s toilets.
A Dad at a baby group of whatever kind is still seen as an exclusive.
Dad’s I love you but c’mon man- you need to up your game.
Your woman is busting her gut, let her be acknowledged, praised and get her up there with you on that pedestal. ♥